One of the more neglected areas of a divorce settlement is insurance, and that’s because insurance is an often misunderstood financial tool. Because it can be both a risk management tool and a wealth accumulation tool, it’s important to understand the role it plays prior to divorce so you can deal with it equitably after the fact.

In Texas, your divorce decree mus specifically designate you as the beneficiary, or your ex-spouse must re-designate you as beneficiary on the policy for you to receive any insurance proceeds, post-divorce.

As a risk management tool, there are two types of insurance that should be considered: life insurance and disability insurance. When there are any financial obligations between ex-spouses, (e.g. alimony, child support, mortgage payments) those obligations should be protected in the event of a premature death or disabling circumstance that would prevent the paying party from fulfilling their legal obligation.

Due to the importance of these tools to the recipient, the parent on the receiving end should be both owner and beneficiary of the policies and take responsibility for paying the premiums (which means you want to negotiate for those premium payments in the support settlement outlined in the decree). Don’t make the mistake of leaving the payments and beneficiary designation up to the “responsible party.” Sometimes the responsible party isn’t so responsible after all. All too often the receiving party ends up short changed –- and not always intentionally. It’s important to just eliminate the possibility of risk with risk management tools by being in control!

As a wealth accumulation tool, any cash value held inside a permanent life insurance policy and/or any value associated with a business buy/sell agreement that is funded with both life insurance and disability insurance should be considered “fair game” when the assets are being divvied up. Make sure you don’t overlook wealth that may be “hidden” inside an insurance policy and negotiate for either a “buy out” or revised coverage that puts you in control of both premium payments and the beneficiary designation.

Finally, if you find yourself in the new status of “single parent,” you may need to evaluate your own insurance coverage –- for both disability and death. Make sure your children don’t end up on the short end of the checkbook if something unexpected happens to you.

Your insurance needs can be analyzed by a professional. For your own peace of mind, be sure to select the right agent. Ask some of your trusted friends and advisors for recommendations. Interview several agents and select one who has (most of) the following qualities:

a. You can meet on a friendly basis and that feel he or she is competent. Remember that your agent will be working with your loved ones in the event something happens to you.

b. He or she has professional designations (CLU, ChFC, CFP, MBA, etc.,) and is a member of the Million Dollar Round Table (MDRT), thereby showing their experience and dedication to the insurance industry.

c. He or she has been in the business for more than five years. Many agents drop out of the business in their early years. You want someone with experience to serve you.

When you purchase insurance, you want to select a company that has:

a. Top ratings from the four different rating officials (A.M. Best, Standard and Poor’s, Moody’s and Fitch).

b. Been around for more than 50 years.

c. A mutual-fund company vs. a stock company.

Remember: “Cheap things are of no value, and valuable things are not cheap.” Insurance lasts a lifetime. You want a company to be there on the day you die to pay the claim.

The digital lifestyle can have negative consequences and one of which is this: You can sabotage your own divorce case if you aren’t careful about posting on social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter and even the up-and-coming iPhone app, Instagram.

In fact, the AmericanAcademyof Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) recently released a study that showed more than 80 percent of divorce attorneys have used social media posts (also known as “social networking”) as evidence in divorce court cases in the past six years.

Yes, divorce lawyers all over the country are, more and more, sharing Facebook posts, Twitter tweets and Instagram pics and captions in the courtroom. These “snapshots” into the life of your soon-to-be ex spouse have exposed extramarital affairs and outright lies that can affect everything from spousal support (alimony) to the time your allowed to spend with your children.

In a widely reported case, the husband had seen some things on their shared computer that made him suspect incriminating evidence would be found in the wife’s social media accounts. The judge ordered the divorcing couple to hand over the passwords to their Facebook and online dating accounts to the opposing counsel.

See? Social media networking can undermine your divorce (or prove your point!). So, what can you do about it today?

What Can I Do About Social Media and My Divorce?

One thing lawyers say is crucial to the divorce process is patience and restraint. Sure, it may be very tempting to gush on Facebook about your new crush, but it can also be used as evidence if you must disprove adultery in your divorce case.

What about tweets, Instagram pics and even “check ins” on your smart phone? They can pinpoint your movements that can build a case to your very own guilt! And that’s not good in any court action.

Most divorce lawyers caution their clients to be rather anonymous during this time. This isn’t just flippant advice. Remember, you may feel like you are flying (as in partying) after you’ve decided to separate from your spouse, but do you really want to capture all the flying-too-high moments too?

Social media evidence can jeopardize not only your court case, but also affect your child custody rights and future ability to co-parent with your ex spouse. Here are some more tips:

Don’t brag. Think twice about “bragging” to your ex via any social networking post. Party pics can get you in trouble in more ways than just one.

Block your ex. Block your ex spouse from all your social media sites and consider blocking or limiting availability to certain family, friends and colleagues who are sympathetic to your ex spouse.

Change your passwords and protect your digital equipment. It is possible your ex spouse has or had access to your laptop or smart phone and can hijack passwords and even install spyware software. First, take the time to change all your important passwords. If you suspect spyware or are just curious, you can take your laptop or smart phone to a spyware detection specialist.

Stop checking in and geotagging. Don’t let everyone know your whereabouts during this sensitive time in your life. It’s time to chill out on any location services software such as “check ins” on your iPhone or with Instagram’s newfangled “geotagging” capabilities.

It may not be fun, but be wary before, during and after divorce about how your ex spouse, friends and family members (and a judge!) may feel about all of your social networking posts.

For divorce lawyers like me, it’s the time of year when folks going through a divorce often struggle with the same question: What do we do about our income tax returns?

If that’s you, here is a bit of obvious advice — file an extension and talk to a lawyer.

It could save you money.

A lot of money.

When people think about the most difficult and expensive part of getting divorce — aside from your legal bills — deciding how to split-up property and agreeing about child custody top the list troubles. But the tax consequences of divorce can often sneak up on a couple, and get pretty costly.

Here are some things to think about:

• Married couples that file separately generally pay a hire tax rate than married couples that file jointly.

• If you file your tax returns separately you can amend your returns later to file jointly. But you can’t file jointly and amend your taxes to file separately.

• If you get divorced before Dec. 31 you cannot file jointly for that tax year. Sometimes, a good divorce lawyer will suggest finalizing a divorce agreement after Jan. 1 as a way to save both parties from paying more in income taxes due to their split.

• Insisting on not paying one penny of spousal support because of bitter feelings or a broken heart could be the dumbest thing you can do. Here’s why: Paying child support is not tax-deductible. Paying “unallocated family support,” which covers child support and cash for your ex, is tax-deductible. So don’t get emotional over your split. Talk to a lawyer. Coming to an agreement could be a win-win situation for both parties, especially at tax time.

• Rather than tap in to your pension consider agreeing on a “qualified domestic relations order.” That way you can transfer tax-free money from a pension or retirement plan to your ex without paying taxes. And if your ex wants to take the money out later the tax liability will not be your problem.

Tax day can be even more complicated for gay married couples.

Even though a few states recognize gay marriage (Texas not included) and a handful more, including Illinois, recognize civil unions, the federal government does not allow gay couples from those states to file jointly or received the tax benefits for being married. Gay couples also can face tax trouble when dealing with estate planning. When it comes the rights of inheritance federal tax rules aren’t the same for gay and straight married couples.

Simply put, gay couples don’t get the same tax breaks heterosexual married couples receive. So before you e-file your taxes on Monday consider buying yourself a little more time. It might just save you some cash.

As I tell my clients, if you have children, you owe it to yourself and to them to see if there is any way to work things out so that you can have a happy, well-adjusted family. Yes, it is possible. Unfortunately, often after much of a fight to keep a marriage together, sometimes there is simply no remaining practical option but to divorce and start over. When this is the case, it is time to focus on co-parenting.

While most parents agree that they want to do what is in their children’s best interest, following through with that can often be challenging. Here are some tips to help you move past the pain and work with your ex-spouse.

Effective Co-Parenting is the Best Way to Help Your Children Adapt to the Divorce Your divorce will affect your children; this is an unavoidable fact. Working together on a healthy co-parenting arrangement will help your children adjust to this major change. They need to know they are still loved in order to feel secure during this time.

However, the benefits extend beyond childhood security and self-esteem.

Learning how to solve problems. Children learn how to work through their issues by watching their parents. If the parents are locked in a battle of wills that is fraught with name-calling and spitefulness, then the children will learn the same behavior. Even though you have divorced, you and your ex can still be partners. Your cooperation and willingness to move past the pain will teach your child how to resolve issues and work together.

Consistent rules are more productive. Children of divorced parents will learn quickly how to play both sides of the fence in order to get their way. Working together eliminates this problem. Even though you are divorced, you will still have to come to an agreement on key issues and abide by those agreements. When the rules, discipline and rewards are consistent between the households, everyone will benefit.

Set the Pain Aside Divorces usually come packed with emotions. It is normal to feel angry, resentful and hurt, especially in divorces where abuse, neglect or infidelity played a role. It is vital that you find a way to set those feelings aside. This is the time to focus on your child’s needs. The co-parenting arrangements are not about your relationship with your ex-spouse, they are about your child’s relationship with both of you. Remember that your children should never be your sounding board for problems with your ex, nor are they your support for the emotions you are going through. Call your friends, join a therapy group or find a great counselor to fill this role. Your job is to support your children and the co-parenting arrangements, and that means keeping your negative feelings about your ex to yourself.

Be the Adults

It is tempting to have your kids deliver messages, but this puts your child squarely in the middle and undermines your co-parenting efforts. Be an adult about the situation, pick up the phone and talk with your ex-spouse. It will be awkward at first, but it will get easier with time. Most importantly, it will benefit your children. Here are some tips to help you communicate effectively and avoid fighting over the phone.

Keep a formal tone. When you view the relationship with your ex as a business partnership, it will become easier to stay civil. Remember that the important party here is your child, and use the same respectful tone with your former spouse that you would use with an important customer or colleague.

Ask, do not demand. Remember the old saying that you will catch more flies with honey than with vinegar? When you need something from your spouse, ask nicely rather than demanding.

Listen to your ex-spouse. It is tempting to tune out everything your former partner is saying, but that is not what’s in your child’s best interests. Listening does not necessarily mean that you agree, but it does show respect and will help keep things on a positive note.

Calm and collected. Your ex-partner is not going to go away, so you will have to find some way to work together until your child is grown. Getting angry after a conversation or fighting with your ex on the phone will cause your child a great deal of stress. It is in your child’s best interest for you to find ways to stay calm when dealing with the ex.

Kid-focused conversations. Discussions with your partner can sometimes degenerate into complaint sessions about old issues. When the conversation starts to shift in this manner make an effort to turn the focus back to the children.

Co-parenting arrangements can be difficult to put in place, but they are extremely important. Your children will benefit greatly from watching you and your ex-spouse work together. In addition to feeling more secure and loved, they will also learn important problem solving skills. The road won’t always be easy, but your children will benefit greatly from your efforts.

If you are still owed money under your divorce decree, first call us. However, after the terms of your decree are fully satisfied, consider these 3 ways to deal with post-divorce debt and remove the fear and sting from the other d-word caused by your change in martial status:

Apply for a Home Equity Loan. This particular option requires you have good credit (a credit score of 650 or more) and equity in your home. Due to the current mortgage crisis and the tightening of the belts at the banks, this option is quickly becoming more difficult for many people, particularly the newly divorced.

However, it is not completely off the table as a possibility, so contact your mortgage company for more details about what is required for you to apply for a home equity loan or even a refinance of your existing loan (which could mean you’re lowering your monthly payments and paying less interest on what is probably your biggest expense).

Debt Consolidation. Contacting a debt consolidation company is another option you might want to consider if you owe multiple creditors and the process of paying different amounts at different times is overwhelming. Debt consolidation is actually a loan based on the amount of debt you have; it will take into consideration all of your outstanding debt, current interest payments and your ability to repay one lower payment each month. If the loan is approved, it will be paid directly to the accounts listed on the loan application. Additionally, there are debt minimums you must meet before you qualify for this type of loan. If you have a very low amount of debt (under $10,000) then you may not qualify.

A condition of the loan may be for you to close the accounts which have been paid in full. This could lower your credit score because you are closing existing credit accounts, however the benefit is you are only paying one creditor and greatly reducing the amount you will pay back over time.
One of the biggest risks with debt consolidation is that if you do not close or suspend use of the paid accounts, you could run the balances back up again, and then you will owe double what you owed previously.

Credit Counseling. This is one of the best options and will be particularly helpful if you do not qualify for a home equity or debt consolidation loan. Credit counseling will help you by decreasing your monthly payments because the counselors work on your behalf to make payment arrangements with your existing creditors. In many cases, counseling services can also help eliminate late payment fees as well as reduce interest rates.

One major condition of your credit counseling agreement is you will not be allowed to use any credit cards you have, so basically your credit is on hold. And like with debt consolidation loans, using a credit counseling service might negatively impact your credit score. However, it will not affect it any worse than not using the service or continuing to make late payments.

On a more positive note, a built-in component of using credit counseling services is creating a budget (which they provide a template for) and learning money/credit management skills that will help you avoid getting in over your head in the future.

If working with a credit counselor seems like an option you want to pursue, you can contact the National Foundation for Consumer Credit, which has a network of over 1,400 “Financial Care Centers” designed to help with debt management and repayment, bill payment, credit crisis resolution, counseling, and financial education. For more information, call (301) 589-5600, or visit www.nfcc.org

Evaluate which one of these three post divorce debt options will best help you find your financial feet again. Once you have reviewed the three options, begin to research companies that can provide the answers you need to pay off and managing your debt.

Friends will take sides; it’s only natural. But it’s hurtful when a couple you care about suddenly treats you like you have the plague.

When we interviewed women for our book “Love For Grown-ups,” we heard dozens of complaints. Recent divorcees hosted dinners and invited married couples and their kids, and it was never reciprocated.

Here are four ways to keep your friendships alive post-split:

Invite one couple over at a time, and preferably one in which you and the husband have interests in common so you can have a three-way conversation. We live in a couple’s society and you have to make some changes and adjustments when you’re divorced.

Don’t complain about your ex-husband. If you’re the one who was left, people will initially be sympathetic but they’ll tire of it quickly. One woman we know kept complaining about how little alimony she was receiving from her husband when finally a male friend said (not too kindly), “Get a job!” We’re not allowed to mourn a failed marriage; we’re supposed to snap to it and get back to life right away. That isn’t the case for many of us. And if you initiated the split, expressing that you’re lonely is frowned upon. You can expect to hear, “Well, you wanted the divorce!” Avoid the overly friendly husband. You may get a phone call or two from someone’s husband wanting to share his wisdom with you — and possibly something else. The best way of handling this is saying something like, “Thanks so much; maybe the three of us can have dinner sometime.” He’ll get the message. That phone call may just be his flight from reality, so don’t let it upset you.

There may also be husbands who have no agenda in mind except to offer help with things like digging you out of the driveway when it snows or helping you figure out what type of insurance you should carry. They may also fix you up on dates when you’re ready. Cherish them; their wives know they’re helping you and they are truly your friends.

Rely on your girlfriends. You’re going to need to talk about your divorce and vent your anger, whether you’re the one who initiated the divorce or the one who was left. Girlfriends are great and will listen to your stories with sympathy. They’ll also make you feel less lonely and vulnerable. Make plans with girlfriends to do something more than just talking. Go to a movie together or a museum, play tennis, or go bowling. Working off unhappiness with a friend can help you deal with your sadness and make you feel less vulnerable.

Who’s the woman behind the His Giant Mistake blog? Nobody knows. (Shutterstock / Jose AS Reyes)

Cleo Everest, 46, was at her home in California’s Marin County when she got a call from her husband who was in the midst of a two-month business trip. He was calling to check in on their two boys and tell her about an important meeting he attended that day.

The usual.

Cleo hung up… Six minutes later her phone rang.

Her husband’s name appeared in caller ID.

“Hello!” she said.

No answer.

It was a pocket call, she assumed. Her husband had unknowingly called her.

Cleo was about to hang up but she heard a woman giggling and her husband’s familiar voice. “We’re interested in a bottle of wine to start here and then take to our room,” he said.

This is how Cleo learned that her husband of 16 years was having an affair. He denied it at first but eventually admitted that he had been seeing someone behind her back for a year. A few days later he revealed that he had been leading a double life for four years. He was vacationing with the mistress, the whole nine yards.

A blog is born Where does one turn in the 21st century when your marriage comes crumbling down? The Internet.

The phone call happened in early September, and about two months later on November 15, Cleo set up an account on WordPress, created a blog called His Giant Mistake, and started typing away every night after her boys, ages 4 and 6, went to bed.

She started sharing everything in posts with titles such as “The Cheating Husband Returns” and “Time to Tell the Children We’re Divorcing.” If you start from the first post “Love Can Lead You to the Truth,” her blog reads like a story—a harrowing and inspirational tale of a woman getting her feet back on the ground after experiencing deep devastation.

She blogs about sending a message to the mistress’s husband on Facebook and about telling the kids that dad is moving out. Her writing is open and honest, casual and conversational, and especially colorful when she’s writing about her ex. She writes: “I thought I had married a man. Not a boy who was frozen in time at age 14 with one hand on his penis and one hand on his joy stick, concerned not an iota about values, morals, commitments or anything other than me, me, me” But while Cleo’s isn’t afraid to take stabs at her ex, the blog isn’t about ruining him. It’s more about Cleo finding happiness in a new life.

Cleo Everest is a pseudonym. For now, Cleo isn’t revealing her real name as she doesn’t want to draw attention to herself, her children, and her ex-husband who has a high-profile job in a creative industry (although she recently told her ex-husband about the blog). She calls her kids “Sugar Delicious” and Cheddar.” The ex goes by The Genius.

His Giant Mistake goes big time At first readers were slowly trickling in, which was fine because Cleo was blogging for herself not an audience. She used the blog to sort through her emotions and organize her life and she thoroughly enjoyed it. “It was the thing that got me up in the morning,” Cleo says. “It was the gift that I got.

Writing is effortless. It elevates me and helps me recenter myself.” Cleo told a friend who works for Sirius’s COSMO Radio about the blog and she was invited to be on the “Cocktails with Patrick” show.

The site crashed that day.

More media coverage rolled in. Canadian gossip maven Elaine “Lainey” Lui gave His Giant Mistake a giant plug on her hugely popular Lainey Gossip site. Lainey calls the blog her “current obsession” and recommends “reading from the very beginning. It’s designed to unspool like a story.” Cleo’s page views increased dramatically, from 100 to 40,000 hits a day. Her site was flooded with comments, and like so many bloggers, who freely share their damaged lives, she found inspiration and hope in her readers.

“People were sitting down and pouring their hearts out in the comments,” Cleo says. “I would sit down and read and sob. Happy sobs. I wasn’t alone.

“My husband traveled so much. I don’t have a gaggle of girlfriends. I remember opening my email and seeing 20 comments.

That has been an unexpected massive gift.” Now that the blog is reaching a wide audience, Cleo is writing for herself—and other women in similar situations.

“It’s stunning how many people are going through the same thing,” she says.

Cleo recently asked a group of moms at her kids’ school if they were happy in their marriages and not a single person said yes. “Women’s needs just aren’t being met,” she says. “We spend so much time giving. We don’t take time to discover what our needs are.” Finding joy in writing When Cleo was in her marriage, she says there was no space for her to discover her passions, hobbies, and interests. She remembers once telling her then husband that she enjoyed writing. His response: “What makes you think you can follow your creative dreams when I can’t follow mine.” Today writing is a huge part of Cleo’s life and she already has plans to turn her blog into a book.

“I’ve always wanted to be a writer and now I’m a writer,” she says. “My writing and my blog—it’s a gift. It’s what I got out of this bad situation.” Cleo’s writing is about more than a broken marriage and navigating a divorce. On a higher level, it’s about digging yourself out of a hole, any hole, and about finding opportunity in a bad situation. She wants to provide inspiration to people who are facing daunting struggles. “A huge percentage of the population is going through the most challenging time in their lives. Divorce, getting laid off, losing a house, Bernie Madoff and it goes on and on and on. This epidemic in our society. It’s like a freight train. How do you see through it?” Take charge of your life. Don’t be a victim. Don’t feel sorry for yourself. “Don’t just go through a divorce,” Cleo says. “Make it the best thing that ever happened to you.” It’s the kind of advice that you read in self-help books and hear from motivational speakers, but coming from Cleo it’s more genuine because she’s living it.

“I’m not a victim,” she says. “I created this. I plan to take advantage of the opportunity. I’m writing a book!” Cleo takes some responsibility for what happened. “I should have known this affair was coming,” she shares.

“His mom, his dad, his sister, aunt and uncle. Every single one of them have had affairs.” His mom moved out at one point to live with the landscaper. His sister cheated on her husband when their child was 1 year old.

“He has been desensitized to the traumatic effects of infidelity,” she says. “He doesn’t understand how deeply it wounds someone.” A new family life “The Genius” moved out of the house, but Cleo lets him see the kids any time he wants. There are no crazy custody battles or arguments over who gets them on which weekend. “If he wants to pick up the kids and take them to school, I let him,” she says. “It’s important to him to be a part of the kids’ lives and I support him in that.” Her attitude is impressive, and Cleo says a lot of that has to do with her readers. “They keep me in check. They won’t let me misbehave,” she says.

Q: What should we do about the children? What will happen to the children? Who will get the children? These are questions that always come up in divorce in Texas. What are the answers?

A: Under the law, the court considers two issues — legal conservatorship and physical custody, or more commonly, visitation. The court must base its decision on what is in the best interest of the children. What each parent wants will be considered by the court. However, parental preferences will not control the court’s decision. There are different types of custody that will be addressed in a divorce:

Joint Conservatorship:
This means that both parents share the responsibility to make decisions regarding the child’s health, education and welfare.

Sole Conservatorship:
This means that one parent has primary control over decisions regarding the child’s health, education and welfare.

Visitation:
This measures the amount of time that the children spend with each parent, via a Possession Order.

Standard Possession Order:
This means each parent has “significant periods” of physical custody, pursuant tot the Texas Family Code. Physical custody must be shared in such a way as to assure the child “frequent and continuing contact with both parents.”

Sole Possession:
This means that the children will spend most of their time under the care of one parent, while sometimes enjoying visitation with the other parent.

When issuing child custody and visitation orders, courts consider two things:
1. The court’s primary concern is to assure the children’s health, safety and welfare.
2. The custody/visitation award must assure that children have frequent and continuing contact with both parents after the parents have ended their relationship and encourage parents to share the rights and responsibilities of child rearing.

Where there is no threat of child endangerment, the two issues are considered equally. If there is evidence of domestic violence that could jeopardize the child’s safety, a custody or visitation order “shall be made in a manner” that ensures the child’s health, safety and welfare and the safety of all family members.

1. Copy all of your documents and gather all of the financial information you have.
You’ll need to get a handle on your finances like never before. Whether you are a financial professional, yourself, or whether you have not worked outside the home in 20 years, man or woman, you will need to know everything possible on your finances. And You’ll need to preserve it for your review and use in your upcoming divorce before the actual divorce starts. One reason it is so critical to do this before the formalities of divorcing begins is that this information can often disappear once the divorcing begins. It can become more difficult to find regardless of the cause or circumstances. And once the tax returns, bonus calculations, w-9’s start to disappear – you can no longer use it often until formal legal steps take plce How can you know or plan for what to divide if you don’t know what you currently have?

2. Start seeking out competent, proactive, expert advice to help you flesh out the “what next” or “what if” scenarios.
With some of the financial information you’ve collected above you can start establishing your priorities. This may not sound like a financial step on the face of it – but when you sit down and write the things that you’d like to have from your marriage, or try to envision what you might like or need in order to carry on into the future – these can and will actually be translated into numbers. Do you think you and the children want to stay in the same neighborhood or house? Do you want to hold onto most or all of your pension? If these are your priorities they will have a range of dollar signs eventually attached to them.

3. Safeguard your credit.
Order a copy of your credit report early and now – from all three reporting agencies: is crucial since you can now have this as a base line to know where you stand now, at the end of your marriage. This way you’d be able to see whether any new unauthorized debt is being added in your name only And if you have no credit in your own name now, you you may want to apply for a credit card. To begin building your own credit now may be far easier while still married than after, all things being equal, especially if you have not been the primary breadwinner.

4. Do an insurance check-up.
Get to know the details of all the kinds of insurance that helps to protect your family. Just the sheer number of types of insurance may be overwhelming, but take it methodically and a step at a time. The goal is to get your hands around what coverages your family has and needs. What are your policy numbers — deductibles, limits, premiums? Life, car, medical, dental, home-owners, renters, flood, insurance and the list goes on and on. How important it is to keep your insurance-related financial issues in order can not be over-emphasized. As just one example: On your life insurance policies, it’s really quite critical that you locate and know now about who are the owners of the insurance – you, your wife, your husband? And who are named on your beneficiary designations? A family trust, your spouse, your children? Knowing this now is essential – if for no other reason, you’ll now have this on your radar.

5. Make sure your tax returns are prepared in a way that you will be comfortable with for years to come.
If you are preparing to divorce but have not yet started and it’s anytime around tax season, this is an area of great potential hazard and you should proceed with caution. Consult your accountant and have him or her advise you not only the possible tax savings now that married jointly filing couples enjoy, but also on the potential future liability you could face in should the returns be found deficient. Know that on returns where you sign jointly, you will be jointly held responsible. This is most often the case whether or not you have any first hand knowledge of the all the financial information on your return.

As always, The best offense is a good defense – and to arm yourself with knowledge is often the best first step in trying to achieve an equitable, fair outcome. By trying to anticipate problems ahead of time you may avoid serious financial issues. And get good – proactive advice throughout your entire process – starting as early as possible in the process.